Since we've started the journey toward parenthood, making plans has become a real pain in the ass.
When we had the first miscarriage, we learned the hard way that making plans too early can end up feeling like a sucker punch to the gut. Since then, we've learned that fertility treatments look at your plans and collapse giggling on the floor. You want to go on vacation when? Hahahahahahah. Oh, sorry. Too bad those tickets were non-refundable. Guess United Airlines made a few bucks off you, huh?
I've already missed a reunion of some dear college friends because we were maybe possibly going to start an IUI cycle right around then. In January, my brother and his family went to Arizona to surprise my Dad for his birthday. We wanted to go, but I ended up having a date with the dildocam that weekend.
There are lots of exciting things on the calendar this spring and summer, all with multiple question marks around them. Some are small trips to see friends and family. Other plans are considerably more involved. One requires international travel. Two others are extended camping trips in inhospitable settings.
If I am pregnant, I might feel like crap. Or I might be advised to avoid the long travel and camping trips, given my history of miscarriage. If I'm not, our plans may be in the middle of another IVF cycle. And we may be stretched a little thin, resources-wise. It's a little daunting, to say the least.
On the other hand, maybe this is just the experience I need to one day become a maestro of soccer practices, violin lessons, slumber parties, band camp, PTA meetings, and the occasional grownup dinner party.
2 comments:
Yeah, this in one of my least favorite aspects of the whole deal. And now here we are, last-minute planning a vaction AGAIN, b/c we were waiting to see if this cycle would take. I've got to learn to just make the plans, regardless.
Dearest Cousin -
How ironic that I stumble upon your blog as I am doing research on my own fertility journey. This journey, towards the dream of creating a family, creating a life is one that society does not prepare us for. I am sorry for your pain, and the challenges you have faced. But I have faith and hope for us both that we will achieve the goal.
I can't remember in 6th greade health education any talk of fertilty. They talk about reproduction- but never a metention of the challenges that pop up for most of us. Especially when those of us are that are purusing pregnancy through a 'nontraditional' route, it is amazing that there are those people out there who have the ability to accidentially get 'knocked-up'! We should be so lucky.
So as we both travel along the journey towards the dream - know that although our paths and hurdles may be slightly different - you have family loving and supporting you and your husband.
M and I send all of our love and support. We are here should you need.
love,
t.
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