Friday, December 29, 2006

2006 Can Kiss My Ass

As sort of a New Year's resolution for 2007, I've decided to start a blog.

I've thought about doing this before, but, well, I just didn't. So there. I want 2007 to be a fresh start. I want it to be nothing like 2006. As far as I can determine, there were only two good things about 2006:
  1. The Democrats retook control of Congress (I guess we'll see how good a thing that turns out to be); and
  2. Um, I'm sure there's a 2, I just can't think of it right now.

In contrast, many, many things sucked about 2006. Here's a brief chronology:

January 31: I learned that my 10.5 -week-old fetus was a goner. That was a shock. It somehow did not occur to me that I might have a miscarriage. Atomic and I cried for three days straight.

February 3: I had a D&C. It was awful. It took two tries, in two different medical facilities. Thank god I finally got some good drugs, and a to-go baggie of Vicodin besides. Off work for a week, and all I could do was go to the zoo and cry.

March - June: Despite rigorous charting and ambitious GOFing, I can't seem to get pregnant again. What's wrong?

July 6: I'll tell ya what's wrong, lady. Ya got scrambled eggs. Yup. You're not even 39, and you've got the ovaries of a 48 year old. They're a mess. A mess! Dr. Google says you'll never get pregnant. Never ever. Fuggedaboudit.

July 27: We consult two different fertility specialists (let's call them Dr. Cautiously Optimistic and Dr. Really Nice) and they both say, "Go directly to IVF. Do not pass go. But first, more tests!" We decide to give IUI one try before laying out the big $$$ for IVF.

August 1: I start acupuncture and herbs to bring my FSH levels down.

August 18: The suckage has just begun. Atomic's beloved uncle dies. We're devastated.

August 23: I have an HSG, and the startled radiologist asks if my mother took DES. Oh, criminy. Dr. Google lowers my chances of a successful pregnancy still further. Dr. Cautiously Optimistic cancels my IUI. I freak.

August 24: My doc calls and says that I don't have a T-shaped ute after all, but I may have a septum. I grudgingly start BCP until we can find out for sure.

September 8: MRI says no septum, everything's normal in there. Dr. Cautiously Optimistic wants to go in there with a camera to make sure.

September 22: The hysteroscopy shows a slight dip in my ute and some scar tissue from the D&C. Dr. Cautiously Optimistic says "Have the dip removed! We'll put a balloon in there and you'll have a nice, wide cavity!" Dr. Really Nice says, "You're fine! Don't do anything!" We opt for inaction.

October 13: I begin daily injections of hormones. My day 2 FSH is significantly lower. My ovaries respond like champs.

October 25: With two gorgeous, ripe follicles and one runner-up, we have the most romantic artificial insemination possible. I begin taking progesterone and wait.

November 9: Holy shit! It worked! I'm pregnant! Hooray! Of course, I'm spotting a bit and it may not work out. But my first HcG level is a very respectable 108, so -- maybe!

November 13: Game over. HcG levels plummet to 79.

November-December: Body gets back to normal.

So, here we are, in late December, hoping that 2007 brings better things. We're planning to start IVF on January 19.

Stay tuned.


Anonymous said...

Very thoughtful. You are in tune with your body and your intellect in ways that are beautiful and inspiring, and your strengh shines brightly.

la fille said...

i was reading your blog and not sure if this will post. i've never really posted on a blog before. i'd like to know how your ordeal with fertility is going. i just got some crushing news about my FSH level and have been on the internet since coming home from work and now am in tears. never knew what FSH meant.

Binky said...

la fille, I'm so glad you found my blog, and so sorry about the unsettling news. The best thing I can tell you is STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER. You can drive yourself mad with all the gloomy diagnoses from Dr. Google.

High FSH is not the end of the world, or of fertility. It means you have fewer eggs to choose from. Acupuncture can help, IVF or IUI with injectibles can improve your chances, and there are plenty of women with elevated FSH who conceive and bear children with no intervention at all.

Don't despair. I promise you will get some perspective on this in the coming days and weeks. And for some real inspiration, check out

She's got high FSH, and a baby. Her journey gave me hope.

Best of luck to you, la fille.