Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Report From The Trenches

Ok, so maybe "trenches" is exaggerating a bit. But "Report From The Two Places I Now Frequent The Most: The Bathroom And Bed" seemed a bit unwieldy.

I've either got an embryo doing some furious growing in there, or I've got a nasty case of stomach flu. Note to self: no more pizza before bed. That's all I'll say about that.

We're scheduled for an ultrasound this Thursday. By that point, I'll be 7 weeks, 5 days, give or take, and we should see something, hopefully an embryo of the proper size with a vigorous heartbeat. That would be nice, wouldn't it?

The more I consider my freakout from last Monday, the more I realize I had a classic, textbook PTSD reaction. My shrink tells me that once you've got PTSD, each successive trauma hits you harder. So it makes sense, since I already had PTSD when I had my first miscarriage, that my reaction to that event was as severe as it was. And my reaction on Monday was a classic flashback-type reaction to the trauma of the miscarriage. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see, I interpreted a brow furrowed with concern for me as a message of doom for our baby.

I'm glad I understand that, but I'm not sure that understanding it will help me get through this Thursday's u/s without a meltdown.

4 comments:

Ms M said...

Thanks for updating--I've been thinking about you lots and checking your blog way too frequently! Now I can make sure to focus lots of good energy on Thursday. As the Magic 8 Ball would say, "All signs point to yes."

Sorry about the pizza incident...there are about 4 or 5 foods that I still can't think about without getting nauseous, so I feel your pain! Miserable as it is, it's a very good sign.

xoxo

Hope4future said...

I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that it's all positive news!!

KCS said...

Thinking of you and crossing everything that you get wonderful news tomorrow.

sharah said...

Crossing fingers for good news today!