Non-Linear Time

Remember how, in third grade, the last few minutes of the last class before summer vacation were eons long?

Grownup time doesn't generally work that way. It's much faster. There are a few exceptions, such as:

• The last few minutes on the treadmill after your ipod has run out of juice (average duration: 16 years);


• The meeting with the client who can neither shut up nor get to the point (and for the one client who might possibly be reading this, NO, it's no one in your department);


• The first few weeks of pregnancy (that's as far as I got, so I don't know if that changes); and of course,


• The 2ww. That's the two-week wait - the time between ovulation and the pregnancy test or, in my case, the time between ovulation and the beginning of an IVF cycle.

I feel like I've been waiting eleventy million years to start IVF. I'm finally near the starting line. We're ready to go, just waiting for the drugs and a new cycle to arrive. Tick tock, tick tock. Are we there yet? How 'bout now? Now? How many more minutes?

The weird thing is that even while time is creeeeeeeeeeeeeping by, it's also flying by. (That's the non-linear part.) That's been especially true this week.

The part of Time that is heading toward IVF is moving extremely slowly. Meanwhile, a sort of jet stream of Time in which I was to prepare for a Very Important Hearing, update my blog, do a bunch of stuff for the Rangers, track down the status of the fertility drugs I ordered from the UK, keep social engagements, locate and throttle the deadbeat neighbor who hasn't paid his HOA dues, water the plants, and do whatever else I was supposed to accomplish this week, seems to have slipped by in a nanosecond. It's gone, all gone, and so many things left undone.

After chasing my tail all week and suffering the interminable wait for this great experiment to begin, I think I'd like to try a new approach. For at least a few minutes, after I publish this post and before I have to schlep to the airport to pick up the drugs that the courier company didn't deliver because of (I'm not kidding) "technical difficulties," I will do nothing.

Take that, crazy non-linear Time!

P.S. Nothing has been postponed until tomorrow. We ended up babysitting tonight.