Since You've Been Gone

Atomic has missed a few developments on the Gabby front since he's been away. Things move pretty fast here in babyland. In the past week, Gabby has:

• become super proficient at getting Cheerios into her mouth;
• gotten her first haircut;
• tried a few new foods, including yogurt, egg yolks, cheese, and mushrooms;
• gotten really good at crawling;
• cut a third tooth;
• pulled herself up to standing a gazillion times;
• visited an old timey mining town with burros who wander the streets (She looooooved the burros, and they apparently loved her as well, which explains why they kept trying to eat her);
• gotten a new bathing suit;
• gone swimming with her best buddy Portia;
• tried gnawing on some bread;
• figured out the whole "peekaboo" thing;
• signed "milk" very clearly for the first time;
• experienced her first thunderstorm (which she slept through);
• watched portions of her first Democratic National Convention (and witnessed history in the making);
• made tons of new friends; and
• fallen truly, madly, deeply in love with her Meema and Grandpa in Arizona.

It's been a fun and eventful week with a giant gaping hole in the middle. Hurry home, honey, before she starts walking!

For Now, We're Two

Atomic went to Burning Man. Without us.

It was my idea that he go, and I am glad that he's getting to enjoy the event on his own. I'm glad we're getting to spend a little time apart - it mixes things up a bit, gives us a chance to appreciate each other, to miss one another.

And oh, boy, do I miss him. I started missing him before he was even out the door. I miss him every time Gabby does something cute (which is, oh, about sixteen times a day). I miss him at 3 a.m. when I realize I haven't yet trained the cats to get Gabby out of her crib and into the bedroom. I missed battling him for The Week In Review. I missed him ranting as I try to listen to Harry Shearer's Le Show on NPR yesterday morning, because frankly (and I say this with love, Harry) Atomic's rantings and ravings greatly enhance Le Show.

And it's only been three days.

Granted, the house is quieter, I can watch whatever I want on TV, the cats are a lot less raucous (although one of them did pee on the bathroom floor last night. Bastard.) , and I'm getting a lot done, chore-wise, but all of those things have downsides as well. I'm tired, a little stir crazy, and I think Gabby's getting a bit bored with me.

The good news is that Gabby and I leave tomorrow for a visit to my parents' house in Arizona. I don't think it will make me miss Atomic any less, but Gabby will get to be spoiled by her doting grandparents and I, I hope, will get some sleep.

Birthdays are different now

I'm now 41 years old. Funny, I don't feel 41. A friend of mine who, AHEM, turned 41 waaaaaay before I did (47 days before, but who's counting), said, "Welcome to the second half." Indeed. Only, since we're not really ready for the second half, we've declared this our "Intermission Year."

In contrast to the festive blowout we had last year, this year I spent most of my birthday hanging out with a friend, taking care of a cranky, teething baby, and doing a few chores. In the evening, a wonderful friend-in-the-computer-turned-friend-IRL watched Gabby while Atomic took me out for dinner and a movie. I ordered the grownup equivalent of the Birthday Belly-Bustin' Banana Split (i.e., a sushi roll so complex I couldn't name half the fish, so ornate that it included little spirals of gold amid dollops of caviar, and so long it took up half the table). Then we saw the latest Batman movie on Imax.

That would have been a fairly ordinary Saturday night not so long ago, but tonight it felt like heaven. And I confess, I missed my Peanut and was also simultaneously glad to have someone else put her to bed tonight.

It was a perfect birthday.

Nipper

Ouch! The problem with kids getting teeth is that they use them. Not to do anything useful, like eating, mind you. No need for that when mommy purees everything nice and smooth. No, the teeth are being put to a far better and more amusing purpose -- biting mommy. While nursing. Hard enough to draw blood.

I'm really distressed over this turn of events. When Gabby was born, I was anxious about breastfeeding. I'd known so many people who had a hard time with it, and I wanted so badly to be able to do it, even for a few months. I was delighted when Gabby latched on like a champ right away, and breastfeeding has been easy peasy for us ever since. Until now.

Every time she bites, I pull her off and say, "no!" and stop the nursing session. It's hard on both of us, though, and tonight at bedtime we were both in tears. Even worse, the first time she bit me hard, I cursed, yanked her off me, and tapped her face with my hand. It scared me, because without thinking I had almost slapped her. I don't want to hit my child, especially not in anger. It worried me that it was almost a reflex to do so.

I don't want to wean her yet -- I'm not ready for it, and I don't think she is, either. I'm hoping this is just a phase. One that we're going to have to get past (please god) before she cuts any more teeth.